as long as I know how to run, I know I'll stay alive!!
He he!
I had lots of motivation when I headed out for my long run today. The main reason why is because I did some balancing of bank accounts beforehand and I saw that somebody donated $100! Last week my sister commented to me that she was feeling a little down not seeing the "total raised" increase, but I told her not to worry God will prevail when we need it the most. He surely did today! Thank you so much to the generous donor. Your support means so much!
I met my friend Michelle at 9am and we quickly headed out the door to start our run. We ran with her dog for the first 6 miles and then decided to drop her off at home because it was way too hot for her. I was feeling good as we started the 10 mile loop, but the hotness and lack of water really began to catch up with me at mile 12 or so. The pace did slow down a little, but we kept on going. It definitely became a mental game for the last 4 miles. The whole time I was asking my dad to give me energy as I pushed myself, because I knew that even though it hurt it surely didn't compare to all that my he endured. My bright morning and the memory of my dad's strength brought me successfully to the end of 16 miles. Oofta!
I am proud of myself to think of how far I have come since my training started in June. My dad continues to show me day in and day out that he is proud of me. I also have to thank all of you out there for your support.
Michelle and I plan to run a race next weekend that goes around Lakes Harriet and Calhoun. It is a total of 15.5 miles so it will be a good warm-up race for me. I can't believe that the marathon is only 5 weeks away! How crazy! Time flies!
Wish me luck, not only as my training becomes more intense but as I start teaching on Tuesday. I will have a lot going on in my life. Please pray that I will be able to find balance so that I won't grow weary.
Much love,
Lacy
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
"Black Saturday" determined not to revisit...
So today is what my family likes to refer to as "black saturday", the day the kids were told about my dad's fatal illness. One year ago was truly a dark day and it makes me sick to my stomach to remember the hopelessness and helplessness. I can't believe how much time has passed. It often feels like this never happened, like it was just a bad dream. Other days it feels like it just happened yesterday and it is so vivid in my mind. However, to reflect back on where I was then to where I am now all I can do is praise God!
I wasn't able to post a message on Friday, but I decided to take the day off and do things for myself. I needed the pick me up so I went for a 2hour+ bike ride and once again, it was absolutely beautiful. As I biked I my mind was solely on my dad. I was off in my own world talking to him...he was right by my side. I felt so comforted...like I was floating on air. What a great ride! Then I decided to go visit my mom and on my way to her house I stopped at my nephew's day care to spend some time with him. It was at that moment when he looked into my eyes and gave me a big smile, that I once again felt my dad so near. Love just radiates off my nephew. He fills my life with so much light! My dad is definitely embracing us through him. It is so amazing!
Anyway, I was determined not to relive the past today, but instead make it a new day...a "bright saturday". I certainly didn't sleep in, but woke up at the crack of dawn to go get my hair cut. I needed a new, more sophisticated do. It definitely feels refreshing to have a change. Then, I went into school and worked for several hours in my classroom organizing my files and I definitely didn't get as far as I wanted to, but that's ok. I know that I can't do it all. I called it quits and headed over to a coworkers house where we had a little get together. It was fun chatting with my new work friends and eating good food. It was even more fun when we decided to head downtown to go salsa dancing. My mom and sister have always told me that I don't have rhythm, but I certainly rocked it on the dance floor. I can't say that I knew what I was doing, but I was having fun. However, I had to leave fairly early because I knew I needed sleep for my big run tomorrow.
Please be praying for me tomorrow. I will be running 16 miles with my friend Michelle and I'm a bit nervous about it. I have never ran that far and this week has been really exhausting as it is...I don't know if I'm up for it. I need your prayers.
Much love,
Lacy
Ps. I want to send a big "thank you" and "hug" to Betty K. who is an amazing woman that I met while being a volunteer in Guatemala. Since then, she has been a great spiritual mentor not only with my dad's illness, but also with teaching and all. Your card touched my heart so much and lifted my spirits. It was a reminder that I needed to why I'm doing this. Some days life just gets too far ahead of me and I sometimes feel like I'm getting nowhere, questioning if I'm doing a good job with all of this. Your encouragement and support was so needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
I wasn't able to post a message on Friday, but I decided to take the day off and do things for myself. I needed the pick me up so I went for a 2hour+ bike ride and once again, it was absolutely beautiful. As I biked I my mind was solely on my dad. I was off in my own world talking to him...he was right by my side. I felt so comforted...like I was floating on air. What a great ride! Then I decided to go visit my mom and on my way to her house I stopped at my nephew's day care to spend some time with him. It was at that moment when he looked into my eyes and gave me a big smile, that I once again felt my dad so near. Love just radiates off my nephew. He fills my life with so much light! My dad is definitely embracing us through him. It is so amazing!
Anyway, I was determined not to relive the past today, but instead make it a new day...a "bright saturday". I certainly didn't sleep in, but woke up at the crack of dawn to go get my hair cut. I needed a new, more sophisticated do. It definitely feels refreshing to have a change. Then, I went into school and worked for several hours in my classroom organizing my files and I definitely didn't get as far as I wanted to, but that's ok. I know that I can't do it all. I called it quits and headed over to a coworkers house where we had a little get together. It was fun chatting with my new work friends and eating good food. It was even more fun when we decided to head downtown to go salsa dancing. My mom and sister have always told me that I don't have rhythm, but I certainly rocked it on the dance floor. I can't say that I knew what I was doing, but I was having fun. However, I had to leave fairly early because I knew I needed sleep for my big run tomorrow.
Please be praying for me tomorrow. I will be running 16 miles with my friend Michelle and I'm a bit nervous about it. I have never ran that far and this week has been really exhausting as it is...I don't know if I'm up for it. I need your prayers.
Much love,
Lacy
Ps. I want to send a big "thank you" and "hug" to Betty K. who is an amazing woman that I met while being a volunteer in Guatemala. Since then, she has been a great spiritual mentor not only with my dad's illness, but also with teaching and all. Your card touched my heart so much and lifted my spirits. It was a reminder that I needed to why I'm doing this. Some days life just gets too far ahead of me and I sometimes feel like I'm getting nowhere, questioning if I'm doing a good job with all of this. Your encouragement and support was so needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Took the words right from my mouth...
I received this moving email today from Nikki who contacted me several months ago after reading my blog. CJD took her mother almost around the same time as my father. It is strange how only a year ago we were walking the same journey, different stages, but with the same horrible end. As the 1 year anniversay of "black Saturday" approaches, the day the family was told of the fatal diagnosis, all that I can think of is my dad's incredible humility. After reading Nikki's message below, I can see that her mother was and continues to be such an inspiration for her just like my father is for me. She took the words from my mouth! Few people have been to where we have been with CJD. We need to be here for one another and others who will one day endure the same fate.
-Lacy
Hello to my CJD family,
Today marks one year that my Mom, the woman who meant so much to so many people, was taken from us all due to this horrible disease. I have journeyed down a horrible path over the last 18 months or so, beginning with her illness and then trying to find my way through this world without her. I've said that this was my year of survival. Just making it through has been a miracle. I now begin my year of healing. I hope that it won't take the full year to then begin my years of hope and joy. My Mom taught me to find the good wherever I can and to give it away to others. I try hard every day to do that, some days better than others.
I believe we are meant to learn a lesson in everything that happens in our lives. As Mom's illness was progressing, I really struggled with that. What kind of knowledge is to be gained by watching a woman so full of love and mercy suffer such a cruel fate? What good can come from a person like this dying and leaving so much good work unfiinished? I grew to realize that the lesson was not her illness, not her death. The lesson was, and always will be, her life - the causes she believed in, the way she loved and forgave, the way she always left things a little better than before she was there. That is her legacy. I only hope that my life will be as meaningful.
I reach out to you all this evening because you all have been in a situation similar to mine - all of our situations are unique in their own ways but you all know this beast, CJD. In losing my mother, I have found all of you. This is a blessing beyond measure. You all inspire me and challenge me to never give up in this fight for treatment and for cure. I wish that we never had to meet under these circumstances but I feel honored to share this journey with you all.
I wish you love, peace and healing,
Nikki
-Lacy
Hello to my CJD family,
Today marks one year that my Mom, the woman who meant so much to so many people, was taken from us all due to this horrible disease. I have journeyed down a horrible path over the last 18 months or so, beginning with her illness and then trying to find my way through this world without her. I've said that this was my year of survival. Just making it through has been a miracle. I now begin my year of healing. I hope that it won't take the full year to then begin my years of hope and joy. My Mom taught me to find the good wherever I can and to give it away to others. I try hard every day to do that, some days better than others.
I believe we are meant to learn a lesson in everything that happens in our lives. As Mom's illness was progressing, I really struggled with that. What kind of knowledge is to be gained by watching a woman so full of love and mercy suffer such a cruel fate? What good can come from a person like this dying and leaving so much good work unfiinished? I grew to realize that the lesson was not her illness, not her death. The lesson was, and always will be, her life - the causes she believed in, the way she loved and forgave, the way she always left things a little better than before she was there. That is her legacy. I only hope that my life will be as meaningful.
I reach out to you all this evening because you all have been in a situation similar to mine - all of our situations are unique in their own ways but you all know this beast, CJD. In losing my mother, I have found all of you. This is a blessing beyond measure. You all inspire me and challenge me to never give up in this fight for treatment and for cure. I wish that we never had to meet under these circumstances but I feel honored to share this journey with you all.
I wish you love, peace and healing,
Nikki
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
No worries...I'm still alive!
Wow...I don't know where the time goes. It's crazy! I've been consumed with so much at school by the time I get home all that I want to do is sleep. I don't even have the energy to turn on the computer to update my blog. It's like I'm a walking zombie!
However, with each day that passes it is getting better. I went for a 5 mile run on Tuesday around work, because I desperately needed a break. God continues to bless me left and right because there are some awesome trails right near my work. They go for many miles and they are gravel so good on the knees. I ran from my school to the city of Excelsior and back and that was about 5 miles. Such a beautiful run and it was shady too!
I took it easy today because I had a pretty packed day and then open house. I met all of my kids except one, and all of their parents too. Most of them are precious and well-behaved from what I noticed, but there were a few that seemed a bit out of control. That's typical though. They are all so adorable! It was pretty interesting for myself and probably even more so, for the parents that I could only speak to them in Spanish. There was a lot of improvising going on. It was pretty comical, but all went well. I am nervous for it all, but I'm even more so excited! It's going to be a great year!
Thank you for your continued love and support!
-Lacy
However, with each day that passes it is getting better. I went for a 5 mile run on Tuesday around work, because I desperately needed a break. God continues to bless me left and right because there are some awesome trails right near my work. They go for many miles and they are gravel so good on the knees. I ran from my school to the city of Excelsior and back and that was about 5 miles. Such a beautiful run and it was shady too!
I took it easy today because I had a pretty packed day and then open house. I met all of my kids except one, and all of their parents too. Most of them are precious and well-behaved from what I noticed, but there were a few that seemed a bit out of control. That's typical though. They are all so adorable! It was pretty interesting for myself and probably even more so, for the parents that I could only speak to them in Spanish. There was a lot of improvising going on. It was pretty comical, but all went well. I am nervous for it all, but I'm even more so excited! It's going to be a great year!
Thank you for your continued love and support!
-Lacy
Monday, August 25, 2008
The testing begins....
One year ago today my father was admitted to the Veteran's hospital to get a further examination of his ailments. Little did we know that he would be there for 1 week undergoing test after test after test. It started out that he may have Lyme's disease, then menengitis, then ....the list went on an on. He was like a freak of nature to the doctors. Something they have never seen...a mystery to be solved.
How is CJD Diagnosed?
There is currently no single diagnostic test for CJD. When a doctor suspects CJD, the first concern is to rule out treatable forms of dementia such as encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) or chronic meningitis. A neurological examination will be performed and the doctor may seek consultation with other physicians. Standard diagnostic tests will include a spinal tap to rule out more common causes of dementia and an electroencephalogram (EEG) to record the brain’s electrical pattern, which can be particularly valuable because it shows a specific type of abnormality in CJD. Computerized tomography of the brain can help rule out the possibility that the symptoms result from other problems such as stroke or a brain tumor. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scans also can reveal characteristic patterns of brain degeneration that can help diagnose CJD.
The only way to confirm a diagnosis of CJD is by brain biopsy or autopsy. In a brain biopsy, a neurosurgeon removes a small piece of tissue from the patient’s brain so that it can be examined by a neuropathologist. This procedure may be dangerous for the patient, and the operation does not always obtain tissue from the affected part of the brain. Because a correct diagnosis of CJD does not help the patient, a brain biopsy is discouraged unless it is needed to rule out a treatable disorder. In an autopsy, the whole brain is examined after death.
Scientists are working to develop laboratory tests for CJD. One such test, developed at NINDS, is performed on a person’s cerebrospinal fluid and detects a protein marker that indicates neuronal degeneration. This can help diagnose CJD in people who already show the clinical symptoms of the disease. This test is much easier and safer than a brain biopsy. The false positive rate is about 5 to 10 percent. Scientists are working to develop this test for use in commercial laboratories. They are also working to develop other tests for this disorder.
Obviously, more research needs to be done for CJD. It was such a draining experience for my dad to spend 1 whole week behind the cement hospital walls, not seeing the light of day. It was even more painful to be put through numerous tests with no definite result and stupified looks on the doctors faces. Worst yet, to walk out of the hospital with a terminal "your on your own" diagnosis. All the while, feeling very sick. It just tears at my heart to remember back to these days and all that my dad went through. Yet, he always remained so humble and so calm. Amazing!
Please help me to find out more about CJD. This is not for me nor my dad, it's for you, your family, your friends. One may never know.
-Lacy
How is CJD Diagnosed?
There is currently no single diagnostic test for CJD. When a doctor suspects CJD, the first concern is to rule out treatable forms of dementia such as encephalitis (inflammation of the brain) or chronic meningitis. A neurological examination will be performed and the doctor may seek consultation with other physicians. Standard diagnostic tests will include a spinal tap to rule out more common causes of dementia and an electroencephalogram (EEG) to record the brain’s electrical pattern, which can be particularly valuable because it shows a specific type of abnormality in CJD. Computerized tomography of the brain can help rule out the possibility that the symptoms result from other problems such as stroke or a brain tumor. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scans also can reveal characteristic patterns of brain degeneration that can help diagnose CJD.
The only way to confirm a diagnosis of CJD is by brain biopsy or autopsy. In a brain biopsy, a neurosurgeon removes a small piece of tissue from the patient’s brain so that it can be examined by a neuropathologist. This procedure may be dangerous for the patient, and the operation does not always obtain tissue from the affected part of the brain. Because a correct diagnosis of CJD does not help the patient, a brain biopsy is discouraged unless it is needed to rule out a treatable disorder. In an autopsy, the whole brain is examined after death.
Scientists are working to develop laboratory tests for CJD. One such test, developed at NINDS, is performed on a person’s cerebrospinal fluid and detects a protein marker that indicates neuronal degeneration. This can help diagnose CJD in people who already show the clinical symptoms of the disease. This test is much easier and safer than a brain biopsy. The false positive rate is about 5 to 10 percent. Scientists are working to develop this test for use in commercial laboratories. They are also working to develop other tests for this disorder.
Obviously, more research needs to be done for CJD. It was such a draining experience for my dad to spend 1 whole week behind the cement hospital walls, not seeing the light of day. It was even more painful to be put through numerous tests with no definite result and stupified looks on the doctors faces. Worst yet, to walk out of the hospital with a terminal "your on your own" diagnosis. All the while, feeling very sick. It just tears at my heart to remember back to these days and all that my dad went through. Yet, he always remained so humble and so calm. Amazing!
Please help me to find out more about CJD. This is not for me nor my dad, it's for you, your family, your friends. One may never know.
-Lacy
Sunday, August 24, 2008
A little overdue...
Wow...what a draining week! I sure hope next week slows down a little. My weekend was basically spent at the school putting together and organizing my classroom. For being a first year teacher, I sure do have a lot of stuff. I'm sure my dad would would call it junk, like he always did when he helped me to move during the college years. However, one person's junk is another's treasure! My mom said that I better stay at Minnetonka for awhile or find a guy to help me move all of my stuff, because she sure isn't going to be of much help. My dad was always the one to help me move, now I'm sure he is smiling down from heaven happy that he gets to get out of this one.
I didn't do as much mileage as I should've this week, but that's ok. There was no way I would've been able to run more with how exhausted I was when I came home from teacher orientation. I'm glad I gave my body a little bit of a break, because when I ran 10 miles today it felt so good. It was crazy, but the run went by so quick. I definitely could've kept on going. It's wierd to think that 10 miles is an easy run for me. Crazy! My running partner, Michelle says that I'm doing a very good job with my training. We finished 10 miles in under 1 1/2 hours so that means we were running 9 minute miles. I think that's pretty good.
I'm going to be more vigilant this week of sticking to my running. I need to remember to take time for me!
I'm going to place the order for the t-shirts this week so this is your last chance to tell me if you'd like one. As of right now, only 3 people have expressed interest in a shirt. Please let me know.
Blessings,
Lacy
Ps. A little note to my dear Marsha. Thank you for your heartwarming comment. It must have taken you a long time to get all caught up with my blog. Thank you for taking the time to see what I've been up to. Your prayers and thoughtfulness are very much appreciated!
I didn't do as much mileage as I should've this week, but that's ok. There was no way I would've been able to run more with how exhausted I was when I came home from teacher orientation. I'm glad I gave my body a little bit of a break, because when I ran 10 miles today it felt so good. It was crazy, but the run went by so quick. I definitely could've kept on going. It's wierd to think that 10 miles is an easy run for me. Crazy! My running partner, Michelle says that I'm doing a very good job with my training. We finished 10 miles in under 1 1/2 hours so that means we were running 9 minute miles. I think that's pretty good.
I'm going to be more vigilant this week of sticking to my running. I need to remember to take time for me!
I'm going to place the order for the t-shirts this week so this is your last chance to tell me if you'd like one. As of right now, only 3 people have expressed interest in a shirt. Please let me know.
Blessings,
Lacy
Ps. A little note to my dear Marsha. Thank you for your heartwarming comment. It must have taken you a long time to get all caught up with my blog. Thank you for taking the time to see what I've been up to. Your prayers and thoughtfulness are very much appreciated!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
There is not enough time in the day...
I did stick to my plan and slept in a little bit and went for a run this morning. It was still hot and sticky out and my legs felt incredibly heavy, but I did it! For some reason, it was a much more difficult run than my 14 mile run last Sunday. Strange!
I wanted to lay on the couch the rest of the day, but no such luck. I had Smartboard training for 3 hours at Minnetonka. I am very thankful I went. I learned a lot of stuff that will be beneficial for me in the upcoming year. The Smartboard is sure a great source of technology to have in the classroom. I feel so blessed!
I did get lots of work done when I went to my classroom after the Smartboard training. I feel much better about the layout. Now all I have to do is organize my desk and decorate my classroom. I do have a busy day tomorrow, but hopefully I can organize my desk. I know I'm crazy, but I will be going to the school this weekend to do my decorating. I just can't seem to think of another time to do so.
Please pray for me that I can stick to my running plan with all that I have to do here at school. I do plan to run 10 miles on Sunday with my running partner Michelle. It's hard to find time for myself these days. Please pray for me that I will be able to better manage my time and not put so much stress on myself. My body and my brain can't handle it.
I hope all of you are enjoying your last week of summer!
Much love,
Lacy
I wanted to lay on the couch the rest of the day, but no such luck. I had Smartboard training for 3 hours at Minnetonka. I am very thankful I went. I learned a lot of stuff that will be beneficial for me in the upcoming year. The Smartboard is sure a great source of technology to have in the classroom. I feel so blessed!
I did get lots of work done when I went to my classroom after the Smartboard training. I feel much better about the layout. Now all I have to do is organize my desk and decorate my classroom. I do have a busy day tomorrow, but hopefully I can organize my desk. I know I'm crazy, but I will be going to the school this weekend to do my decorating. I just can't seem to think of another time to do so.
Please pray for me that I can stick to my running plan with all that I have to do here at school. I do plan to run 10 miles on Sunday with my running partner Michelle. It's hard to find time for myself these days. Please pray for me that I will be able to better manage my time and not put so much stress on myself. My body and my brain can't handle it.
I hope all of you are enjoying your last week of summer!
Much love,
Lacy
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