So today is what my family likes to refer to as "black saturday", the day the kids were told about my dad's fatal illness. One year ago was truly a dark day and it makes me sick to my stomach to remember the hopelessness and helplessness. I can't believe how much time has passed. It often feels like this never happened, like it was just a bad dream. Other days it feels like it just happened yesterday and it is so vivid in my mind. However, to reflect back on where I was then to where I am now all I can do is praise God!
I wasn't able to post a message on Friday, but I decided to take the day off and do things for myself. I needed the pick me up so I went for a 2hour+ bike ride and once again, it was absolutely beautiful. As I biked I my mind was solely on my dad. I was off in my own world talking to him...he was right by my side. I felt so comforted...like I was floating on air. What a great ride! Then I decided to go visit my mom and on my way to her house I stopped at my nephew's day care to spend some time with him. It was at that moment when he looked into my eyes and gave me a big smile, that I once again felt my dad so near. Love just radiates off my nephew. He fills my life with so much light! My dad is definitely embracing us through him. It is so amazing!
Anyway, I was determined not to relive the past today, but instead make it a new day...a "bright saturday". I certainly didn't sleep in, but woke up at the crack of dawn to go get my hair cut. I needed a new, more sophisticated do. It definitely feels refreshing to have a change. Then, I went into school and worked for several hours in my classroom organizing my files and I definitely didn't get as far as I wanted to, but that's ok. I know that I can't do it all. I called it quits and headed over to a coworkers house where we had a little get together. It was fun chatting with my new work friends and eating good food. It was even more fun when we decided to head downtown to go salsa dancing. My mom and sister have always told me that I don't have rhythm, but I certainly rocked it on the dance floor. I can't say that I knew what I was doing, but I was having fun. However, I had to leave fairly early because I knew I needed sleep for my big run tomorrow.
Please be praying for me tomorrow. I will be running 16 miles with my friend Michelle and I'm a bit nervous about it. I have never ran that far and this week has been really exhausting as it is...I don't know if I'm up for it. I need your prayers.
Much love,
Lacy
Ps. I want to send a big "thank you" and "hug" to Betty K. who is an amazing woman that I met while being a volunteer in Guatemala. Since then, she has been a great spiritual mentor not only with my dad's illness, but also with teaching and all. Your card touched my heart so much and lifted my spirits. It was a reminder that I needed to why I'm doing this. Some days life just gets too far ahead of me and I sometimes feel like I'm getting nowhere, questioning if I'm doing a good job with all of this. Your encouragement and support was so needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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